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Posted by on Jul 5, 2011 in Uncategorized | 8 comments

An Open Letter on Marijuana and Other “Unscannables”: The Official Shoeboxed Return Policy

Since our inception in 2007, we’ve received enough documents and receipts to meet the entire paper demand for a small country. But hey, no complaints here! We’re the people that actually like organizing your paperwork. We relish it. Honestly, without the world’s paper clutter, we’d be jobless. However, from time to time our beloved customers send us more than just their documents, receipts and business cards. In fact, personal items from far and wide frequently make their way to Shoeboxed HQ in one of our beautiful blue envelopes. And we understand why. When it’s time to clear off your desk or countertop, our envelopes are ready to catch it all — regardless of the contents. Talk about ultimate handiness. But unfortunately our data extraction scanners don’t seem to enjoy scanning certain items.

Around Shoeboxed, these outcasts are affectionately referred to as “unscannables.”

So over the past four years, you can imagine the plethora of unscannables we’ve come across. Everything from 50 dollar bills, hair clips, socks, unused condoms, breakup letters and beautiful origami pieces have landed on our doorstep. We take great pride in ensuring that these outcasts make their way back to their rightful owners, no questions asked. However, yesterday we received an unscannable that left our Shoeboxed team both puzzled and amused, and we just wanted to take a moment to share the laugh.

Yesterday morning, like many mornings prior, hundreds of blue envelopes filled with paper clutter made their way into the Shoeboxed Operations Center where our scanning and data extraction began in earnest. But one of our verifiers must have sat puzzled for some time, uncertain how exactly to categorize, let alone attempt to scan, one unusual smelling green item. For those of you unfamiliar with our top secret data extraction process, we’ll let you in on a little secret: “medicinal herb” does not fit well through our scanners, particularly when it’s in large bags. Now, under normal circumstances we would contact the owner and have their “unscannable” sent back to them ASAP. But for a great many reasons, this conundrum left us Shoeboxers thrown for a bit of a loop. After all, how can you blame a document digitization company for not including a section on controlled substances in our return policy?

To our valued customer (who may have just recently, and sadly, discovered the absence of this personal item): don’t worry, there is most certainly no judgment here. We get it. It’s medicinal. You’ve got one of those neat cards that allows you to legally purchase marijuana. Despite this fact, please understand that given current legal precedents we highly doubt that Shoeboxed will be able to return your “lawn clippings” to you, and for this we would like to extend our most sincere apologies.

In the meantime, why don’t we just forget this ever happened, agree to keep this little incident between us and we’ll call our lawyers about drafting a new revision of the official Shoeboxed return policy.

Stay Organized (and law-abiding),

The Shoeboxed Team

  • ANDREI K. LAGERGREN

    You guys have now achieved the Southwest Airlines level of customer care after I read this.

    Southwest Airlines is my gold standard.

    ANDREI
    Horizon City, TX

  • Josh Farmer

    What a ‘smoking’ story. As usual Shoeboxed has an exceptionally ‘high’ standard of customer care!

  • Chelle Slade

    OMG! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this story. . . .. . .hahahahaha. . . . especially because one of those “unscannables” was found by me in the very beginning. . . . TOO GREAT FOR WORDS. . .!!! Miss you guys! Muah!

  • Jonathan

    Brilliant! This is kind of asking for a full PA service not just paper anymore!!! :)

  • Jon

    I’m guessing the vending machines in your office are now empty.

  • http://www.nerdenterprises.com Seth David

    Wait! That was mine. I was holding it for my FRIEND who has the card!

  • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

    I have to say it was KIND OF a smart move to throw it in the magic envelope if they needed a quick place to hide it. Unfortunately, the magic envelopes are trackable. lol

  • Emily at Shoeboxed

    Haha, agreed! :)