Squirrels and Llamas and Camels, Oh My!

A word of advice to moms: keep your ambitious college-aged sons and daughters trying to start a simple yet innovative high-energy startup company away from Berlin.

According to local media, a squirrel viciously attacked three individuals in downtown Berlin. After locking its jaw onto a young woman’s leg, the rodent remained hanging from her calf for several minutes before falling to the ground. The squirrel continued on its rampage, biting another woman in the street before heading to a nearby garden. Ladies, cover your ears, it’s about to get graphic. When the squirrel finally targeted a 72-year old nursing home patient, it was murderously beaten with the man’s crutch.

Not to be outdone, on this same day several camels and llamas were spotted crossing a busy street during rush hour traffic. Officials claim that these runaways are recent escapees of the local Berlin animal prison (read: zoo). I don’t know about you, but all I can say is—I’m not buying it.