The Baked Spargel Incident

Coming from a land of drive-thrus and 24-hour delivery Chinese food, it was never necessary for me to learn the art of cooking. With an ever growing amount of work to do here at Shoeboxed, we often try to eat in the apartment, leaving many of us naïve college students to the kitchen. When confronted with the stovetop and oven, many of us have excelled at making pasta, potatoes, and rice – all starches.

The lack of variety led Candace and I to experiment. We bought Spargel, the blonde cousin of American asparagus. We figured that olive oil and parmesan cheese could make even this strange, white, translucent vegetable taste good. After arriving home we realized we lacked a pot large enough to fit our ten asparagii (I am fully aware that the plural of asparagus is asparagines, but that’s just ridiculous. I refuse). We would have to bake our asparagii on a cookie sheet.

Putting the asparagii with parmesan and olive oil in a 400 degree oven seemed like it would get the job done. Little did we know that asparagus actually explodes. To add to our embarrassment, some of our German companions came over just as we pulled the burnt remains out of the oven.

David and Silva made it crystal clear that Spargel is a very delicate and revered food in Germany, after which they criticized every step of our Spargel preparation. I would like to use the blog to defend my cooking skills and my honor. People out there should know that, even if I failed to peel and boil the Spargel, baked Spargel is just as good!